Chemicals and Real Love

My heart at the moment feels compressed.
It feels as if it's being squeezed to lifelessness...
I'm thinking about love, and how to some it's just "chemical" and just "sex."

In hollywood, you see this eminent.  No, you won't hear them say it, but if you watch any "romance" genre movie, most likely the couple of interest will end up in bed with eachother.  Before marriage.  Before commitment.  Sex is usually the culmination of finally admitting they've "fallen in love" with the other.  It's as if all paths lead to that.  Most PG-13 movies have some sort of sexual encounter; and, most assuredly, there's some type of lewd sexual banter.  Then, think of advertisements all around us.  Usually they use a portion of the female body to sell their product.  OR, they are selling the females.  I opened up an Orange County weekly news addition pamphlet the other day, and in the ad section they had information for call girls and other sexual encounters.  You know what they called this section - "Adult Interests."  As if the individuals using these services are "mature adults."  In fact, they are acting more like immature animals than anything.  But, we'll get to that later.

For people who don't think critically, our over-saturated sexual environment makes going to a strip club, using "call girls," or looking at junk online a part of human nature...

I was at work one day, and heard one of my managers talking.  It was going to be his birthday soon.  I love birthdays!  How exciting.  I heard them saying, "Oh yeah, we're gonna go celebrate!"  Then, I heard him and some of the others continuing to talk about plans - "We're going to the strip club.  It's going to be wild."  They were bantering back and forth as if they were going bowling.  Like it was no big deal.  The next day, the attendees were so tired, and were saying, "It was great!"  Nothing like birthday fun, right?

The thing that bothered me most about this whole exchange is that this manager is one of my favorites.  He's just your down to earth good guy with a serious girlfriend.  But, I guess to them, it was normal.  No big deal.  Doesn't hurt anyone, right?
Hormones.
Chemicals.
Human nature.

Wrong.  This is what has my heart compressed and squeezed so tight.  I have to keep myself from screaming at the top of my lungs at these guys - "DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SUPPORTING."  Strip clubs are ports or gateways for prostitution and sex-trafficking.  Many of them work closely with pimps and have prostitution on the side; many also employ underaged girls.  Some of the clubs bring in women from other countries, or the pimps provide those women, and they are really victims of trafficking. Or victims of emotional exploitation upon insecurities and feelings of helplessness.  Just some birthday fun?  Right!

"I was a stripper."  One of my friends told me.  I looked at her - so beautiful, so thin, so loving.  "I hated myself, and it was a way to feel like I was wanted."  She explained that she started as just a server at a strip joint, and promised herself that's all she would do.  But, eventually she saw how much more money the strippers would make, and decided to try it.  "I still can't believe that was me.  It felt like a totally different person.  I disconnected.  And, the thing is, I didn't make that much more money than I do now as a waitress at a good restaurant.  At the time, though, I thought that was all I could do - they made me believe it was the only way I could make that much money."  My beautiful friend would talk about some of the feelings of hatred and just awfulness of the exploitation of her body that she experienced.  She never told stories though.  Just feelings.  I don't think I could have handled the stories. 

But, I'm hearing stories now.  All the time.  About girls exploited for sex around the world.  There's one grandma to the children we work with in Bulgaria who refuses to let her granddaughter even play volleyball.  She's the guardian of this lovely young teenager, and fears the "onlookers" at the practices will try and steal her granddaughter away.  Sounds obsessive.  It happens.  It happens over in this small European country...all the time.
After all, it's just a part of human nature.
Chemicals.
Hormones.  
Right?

Sure, sex is a part of love.  A beautiful part created by God.  IN the context of MARRIAGE.  There's a problem when this just becomes a chemical thing, however, and when it's just what love comes down to.  That's the state the world seems to be going towards, even if people don't say it.  If all this is just a part of human nature and instincts, it takes the mind and heart out of it.  But love, and love and sex requires both of these.
It requires the mind.
Heart.
Soul.
Strength.
All of it.
And, it requires that we as a people begin to think with all our strength about the heart, mind, and soul of others.  If my boss and his friends had thought about the heart, mind and soul of the strippers before they went to the place, they probably would have had guilt the entire time.  The girls would suddenly become more than objects.  Humanize the girl, and you have to humanize yourself and ask, "What is this costing her to do this; what is it costing me to enjoy this?"  It's costing both their heart and soul.  As my friend, who was the stripper, said, she was a completely different person when she was doing the dancing for a living.  She had to disconnect herself from herself.  If all of this was just a natural part of human nature, why would it require people to disconnect from their hearts and souls?  It's not natural...

Love is not a feeling, hormones, chemicals.
Yes, people can FEEL love, but if it doesn't go beyond that, it's not true love.
Love takes the entirety of who you are as a human being:  heart, soul, mind.
After all, doesn't the scriptures say, "Love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself."
We can't love anyone else until we are learning to love with the entirety of our being.  To love means to give of our thoughts, emotions, and essence of self to another.
First to God.
Then, we learn how to love/respect all He's created us to be.
Finally, we can give that same respectful loving to the others (neighbors) around us.

We can't isolate what we give in love to a single thing like emotions or hormones.  Sex.  It has to be ALL of us.  It has to be all of us thinking about all of the other person.  Their heart, mind, and soul, not just their body or how they make us feel.  Most of you reading this probably agree with me already.  I don't have to convince you.  So, let me break the problem down to a practical level of everyday love...

The bottom line of this problem of love we are talking about today is objectifying.  It's obvious that our society objectifies for pleasure, but in a non-sexual way we objectify as well.  Sometimes, I see a checker a the grocery store as someone who is just processing my order so I can leave; or, I see a customer at my job as just another customer like the last customer, or the one before them.  When I do this, I've objectified these people and am not loving them.  I know I don't love every person, every day.  But, I want to.  Do you?  Each day, we all need to remember that loving well takes all of us choosing to love a person for all of them!


If our world began to no longer objectify and to love the person, life would change.  Sex-trafficking and sexual exploitation would be over.  Because, to love this way is to be fully human - human as we are intended to be - instead of animalistic; when we use the human mind, heart, and soul to love, we are awakened to the humanity of others.
Suddenly, they have a story.
They have a life.
And, they also deserve love that ministers to their mind, heart, and soul.
When we are real and they are real, love becomes real.

WHAT IS LOVE?

As a girl growing up, I always wondered what it would feel like to "be in love."
As a young woman, I always wondered how you know when it's "real love."
As a married woman, I now wonder, "What is love?"
Now that I've experienced love expressed in every capacity, I am asking this question for us all.  Someone needs to.
Why?
Because our world is failing in love.
So many of us think we "know love," but do we really?
I think we know parts of love; we know definitions; we know feelings.  But, I also think we have a lot to learn - myself included.

You see, there's this problem...ask several people what love is, and you'll get different answers.
For hollywood, it seems to be a profound attraction that is ever shifting.
For the scientist, it's just chemicals in the brain and body.
For a muslim extremist, it may be Jihad.
For someone hurt, it may not even exist.
For others, "love" may be simply equated as sex.
For a Christian, it's the cross and a combination of scriptures.
Some say it's a choice.
Some say it's pain.
Some say it's a myth.
Some say it's sacrifice.
Some say it's deep friendship.
Some say it's just not worth it.

And yet, no matter what people say or believe love to be, it is the great search of our generation. People jump from relationship to relationship, from religion to religion, from place to place just searching...
FOR LOVE.  

They are searching for love, but the confusion on love creates the problem.  I believe there truly is ONE REAL LOVE.  A love we are all looking for that's universal.  And, I think it's too simple to just say it's God.  Of course it's God!  He created love.  HE IS LOVE.  But, He also created us to love - and that's the problem I think we keep running into; even after we are submerged in God's love, we are still searching for love from eachother.  Deep down we know it's supposed to be there!
God's love IS ENOUGH.
And yet, it's not at the same time.
Sound blasphemous?
Let me explain...
If a Christian or person claims to know the God of Love, who is Love, and yet is no better at loving than the rest of the world, what is that saying to others?

Love is what we are created FOR.

And, love is what we are created to BE.

To be true LOVERS.

That's why I'm asking, "What is love?"  And this time, we can't answer this with religion or or empty words, but we have to look in our hearts and ask...what does it look like for me to love and be loved?  For the next months, I am looking deep.  I want all of us to re-look at the scriptures or sayings we've heard our whole lives, and then begin to see what that looks like in ACTION, in EVERY DAY LIFE.  Otherwise, it means nothing.
We need to do this.  
We need to do this for ourselves.  
Our relationships.
Our children.
Our neighbors. 
Our future. 
Our WORLD. 

Stay reading to go through this journey with me...

Change-Year

We've been hearing the word thrown about as a slogan - "Change."
It's been promised.
And, for many, not fulfilled.
I think sometimes I give up on change.

Yet, even if we don't notice, change constantly occurs around us.
The sun rises, and then sets.  
Leaves fall and grow.  
Babies become toddlers; toddlers to teens.  
Our day shifts - with a word, a choice.
We are changing, our lives are changing because our God is moving.  Always.  

For some reason, however, I keep getting the feeling that this year is a year of change.  Of course, every year is - we get older, we move or we grow, or we shrink...something always changes.  Yet, there's to be a special change this year. What?  You may ask.  I'm not sure.  I just believe, like the Israelites waiting for freedom and Joseph waiting for uplifting, that the status quo of our lives and the things we've been waiting on or praying over will find answers.  At the end of this year, I believe we will see a change in stagnant and captive areas.
If...
     we...
          seek....
GOD'S FACE.

That's where I feel His tug on my heart.  I like control.  I like to figure it all out and find solutions...myself.  But, I know I can't do that this year.  I know if I finally want to see fruition in the things I'm waiting for, and change sweep over my current circumstances, I have to come to His presence.  THEN, I have to GO - go with His presence.  I can't simply rest in one spot, but I know it's time to move with His movement and help bring about change.

For every person longing for a change, I do believe this is the year.  I believe God wants us to find His face and then move with Him, so He can not only move in our lives, but move US.  

12 TO 13 TO LOVE

In the move from 12 to 13, there was love.
Not age 12 to 13, but year.
It's like that moment, however, when you are 12 and then turn 13.  Suddenly, you realize you're a woman.
In the midst of a year, I realized I am a woman.  One in love.
Last New Year, I moved.  I arrived in California scared.  I moved for a job, and the man I was dating at the time now lived only 40 minutes from me.  I hoped the relationship would last.  I dreamed it would be more.  And yet, my entire being cried out not to hope or dream.  After all, when you do, you can be CRUSHED.
But, I couldn't help it.
And, I found out that when you do you can also discover...
LOVE.

I didn't realize until 2012 that I was scared of love.  I almost pushed it away because of the fear.  Don't get me wrong, I desperately longed for true love and, well, marriage.  It's just that after a few heartbreaks and disappointments, I started thinking it just might not be for me.  2012 challenged me to face this fear, and let it go to receive everything my boyfriend, at the time, was pouring into my life.  Even though I "let it go," I was still afraid!

There was one moment around February where I broke down in tears in a coffee shop parking lot.  I got my mom on the phone and wanted to end it then and there.
No more boyfriend = no more possibility of pain.
No boyfriend also = no more hope, no more dream.  And, no more trust.
I realized in that moment, if I couldn't learn to trust this incredible man, could I ever trust God?  After all, He had miraculously placed us together (our story will have to be another blog), so to run would be to run from God.
I stayed.

And, 3 months later, we were engaged.  Even during that first month of being engaged, I was subconsciously waiting...waiting for my fiance to change his mind, to leave, to disappear.  He didn't.  
Hope. 
Dream. 
TRUST.
All 3 still alive.

Then, 5 months later, I was walking down the aisle.  Starting into the face of one who loved me so selflessly, and who I loved.  I never thought this moment would come.  My whole heart cried out with joy!  I hadn't run, or pushed away, or let fear get the best of me, so love was able to mature.

As I write this, I look back at me exactly a year ago - A scared little girl who didn't believe her God could actually put His love for her in a man's heart; who didn't believe any of her relationships would ever make it to alter.  I watch that girl grow as I reflect on 2012, and I see her stubborn choice to keep going back to HOPE and to a DREAM.  And, mostly to TRUST that God works all things for good.

And, today, January 1st, 2013, I see that every hope and dream for love and marriage has come true.  My husband is laying on the couch reading and drinking coffee.  I'm writing on my computer.  Pretty sure I'm done now so I can actually go and give him a big kiss.  But, before I go, the point is, somewhere between 12 and 13 we all must let go of fears and allow God to grow in us, and move us towards His plans.  
Otherwise, we're stuck.
Our hopes and dreams will always be squelched.
We'll never let love mature.
In everything we do, we may be afraid, but we cannot FEAR what God has put in our lives.
Here's to a year of dreams and hopes maturing....

On the Set of "Dating": Written and Directed by God

For years I've been writing about relationships, the roles of male and female, of giving and self-less-ness - I've been writing of this all, but not yet had much of a chance to put it into practice.  Living most of my 24 years as a single, I only could speak of the revelations God gave me, not from practical experience.  Well, that's changing.  
Yes, I'm in a relationship now.  (Those of you who know me are like, "WHAT?! Finally!")  And so this article I'm going to write about relationships again, but this time what God is teaching me through my relationship!  

GOD-DIRECTED DATING
Having a Christ-centered relationships IS possible, and it's not rocket science...in fact it's more practical then we make it out to be.  It's about who's in control:

Is it God who directs the relationship?  
Is it Him first, not some formula or religious conception of how things are "supposed" to work?  

Sometimes we get so caught up in this idea of how a relationship is supposed to start, and a timeline for everything, that we forget to let God be the director!  Think of it this way - God knows the script.  He knows how things are supposed to play out in order to capture the most epic, cinematic feature for our life.  He's the one behind the camera, after all, taking the shots and putting all the little scenes together to form one whole picture.  He does not direct the same feature for every life, but each has a different plot-line - for He is a creative God and an ingenious director.  
     So, I ask again, WHO'S IN CONTROL?   Sometimes we think He's in control, but really we're trying to frame all the shots with our idea of what's supposed to happen next.  We act outside of His direction.  We go off our own feelings.  Instead, we need to stop trying to force things, and trust where the peace and direction of God leads.  Because, "In his heart a man plans his course, but God directs his steps (Proverbs 16:9,NIV)."Of course, there's the balance because we DO have to implement proceeding forward, we must take steps for them to be directed and make choices.  When God says "ACTION" it's up to us to "ACT."  When He's in the directors chair, He does not jump in and play your scenes for you.  Which is why it's so important to forget about our own agenda, and fall into HIS PLAN for the romantic genre of your life.  It's not an excuse to be passive but instead proactive when He says "Action."

"CUT" the RELIGION
I asked above, is it God first, or a religious idea that governs your thoughts on relationships?  I know for me, it's often been religious ideas or conceptions.  But, with God as my director, each time I begin to act from some religious notion (which causes me to begin trying to control everything), He yells "CUT!" And I stop.  I protest.  He asks me, "Are you following my script, or someone else's?"  

What exactly am I talking about here?  I'm referencing the sheer overspiritualization that we often place upon dating.  For example, the word "boyfriend" and "dating" was hard for me to use in reference to myself for the longest time.  Like somehow they were "bad" because people in relationships which don't honor God also use those terms.  They're just words!!!!  But we do that in the church, don't we?  "Dating" is taboo.  Sometimes, even talking to someone of the opposite sex in church is cause for gossip.     To even say hi to a girl in some Christian circles, a guy needs God to strike him with lightening; and for a girl to open up to a guy and even let him be a friend, she needs to have the promise of a ring or something right off.  This is just weird, religious thinking.  I know, because I've been there, I've read I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and I've researched all the pitfalls of dating, etc.  But I also know that those negatives apply to the relationships that aren't completely directed by Christ.  Yes, we need to have safeguards. Yes, we shouldn't necessarily be seriously dating if we're under, say 18 or 19 years old (where will it lead anyways?).  And, yes, we should not ever ever ever take getting in a relationship lightly.  

But, if you're in your 20s and you know you aren't made to be single forever, it's important to carefully consider your attitude towards dating and relationships.  You'll know if you need to cut the religion if you have fear.  1 John 4:18 says, "There is no fear in love.  Perfect love drives out all fear (NIV)," so if you're truly loving others, you're not going to be afraid of opening up and letting them into your life. I say this, because I KNOW.  I know what it's like to be directed by fear (fear of what others would think, fear of being "perfect") instead of by God.  I know what it's like to be afraid of guys.  I know what it's like to be afraid of even talking to guys!  

Maybe you're reading this and thinking I'm crazy, but I write it because I know that many Christians deal with these fears - this religion freezing up there ability to allow God to direct their romantic life.  Because so much compromise and pain has come from dating, we often close off our hearts and RUN.  We aren't willing to let Him be the one to open or close our hearts...because of...fear.  But, God created man and woman.  He created them to be in community.  Together.  So, I ask, why are we afraid?  Why are we afraid of something God created and declared as good?  What we're fearing is satan, and his twisting of relationships.  So, I return once again to God as the director - if you KNOW He is the director of your life, and you've truly surrendered your heart to Him, then religion will not bind you in fear, but you'll be able to ACT when He says "Action."

ACTS THAT SET THE PLOT 
To have a truly God-directed relationship takes intentionality.  Ridding of religious misconceptions does not mean casting out wisdom.  If we want God to truly direct the plot of a relationship, there's groundwork and safeguards that are required of us.  These are some of those "no-brainer" acts that are standard for every Godly dating relationship.

1. Set Boundaries, and Set them Early - In order to honor God in a relationship, you must remain pure.  Your body is a dwelling place for the Spirit of God, and we are told to honor God therefore with it (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), which means to keep ourselves free of sexual immorality and impurity (Ephesians 5:3).  If you're in a relationship, TALK about boundaries.  Don't wait until you "need to" or until you make a mistake, but set up safeguards so you don't make the mistake.  Be practical. Be understanding.  Be real.  God has given us a spirit of "self-discipline" (1 Timothy 1:7) so no matter your past, if you now have His spirit in control, you will have the discipline to honor God and each other in purity and respect.  
2. Make God a Priority Every Day - Set prayer as essential.  Don't skip your devotions so you can hang out.  Talk about what God's teaching you.  Attend church together, worship together...just make God a priority, not an afterthought.  Don't think that this "spiritual" part of your relationship will just "happen" or develop eventually.  If you don't make it a pointed pursuit, it won't be a priority at all.  Form the habit of putting God first while together and apart, and He will stay the director.
3. Burst the Bubble - Don't isolate yourselves in a bubble where it's just you and your boyfriend/girlfriend shutting out the world.  Pop the bubble of JUST THE TWO OF US and surround yourself with a community where you have friends, support and fellowship.  Allow others to be in your life, and find the balance of growing together as a couple while also growing other friendships and reaching out to people.  While you're together, look for opportunities to love on people as well.  God brings two people together not only to teach them, but to reach others.  
4. ENJOY the Process and the Person - Thank God for each day for putting someone in your life.  Enjoy the moments.  Don't rush ahead.  It amazes me how few people just simply enjoy the individual they're dating - compliment them, choose to support them, allow yourself to care and share.  Stop worrying and wonder instead in the blessings!  Once again, keep in His direction and revel as His grand geniuses unfolds!

THAT'S A WRAP, FOR NOW
For now, this is a wrap on God-directed dating.  But, the thing about God, is unlike the movies or books, the plot never ends.  His directing is seamless and eternal.  If it is His plan to have someone in your life, whether that person is in your life for a short time or forever, the character will play a part in brining about God's ultimate plan for you!  If you do things by His time and His say, you can't mess up His will and way.  
We all love a good romance for a reason.
We were created to be a part of one.
Perhaps, your romance is with Jesus forever, but most likely it's just you and Him for a season.  Are you open to God placing another actor in your scene and moving when He yells "ACTION"?  The minute you think that your life is a wrap, that you have everything figured out, that nothing will ever change, that you're stuck, that your screen-play is just made to be boring, God starts a new take...and you hear the theme song of Never Ending Story in your life...
Your story is not over until the credits role.
And even then, comes the out-takes and special features - in heaven.  The best is yet to come!
But for now, release and let the Director's "Action!" be your que in life and relationships.  

Answering the Harvest

I have no theme. I have no idea, in fact, what I'm about to write.  I just know I need to write.  I know that Jesus is stirring the hearts of Christians right now.  This is a season of harvest for prayers sown, months ago, years ago...for some, even twelve, fifteen years ago!

For weeks now, I've been feeling this growing inside of my soul - a movement of sorts.  AND, for these weeks, I've been sicker than I've been for probably a good 2 years.  I've been barely able to get up in the morning, or run more than 3 to 4 miles in a row (if you know me, you know both of these are a big deal!).  When the Spirit is moving, and the enemy is moving in equal force against the Spirit to distract and discourage - I know SOMETHING is happening.

Now I know WHAT.  Well, not exactly "what," because if God spelled everything out every time, life would be so boring!  That's the adventure of it - the discovery.  Back to the topic - so on my run this morning I was listening to a sermon by Pastor Judah Smith about looking around you and seeing the harvest.  About being ready to catch the fruit ripe and ready to fall off the tree.  And it hit me - this stirring, this movement, this is the harvest hour for Christians for MANY of there prayers.  Something is changing.  And we can no longer be passive about life; no longer is it a season where we look and praise God for the past, or wait for the future in expectancy - God is moving TODAY.  He has blessings and hearts for you to reap TODAY.

Let me just take some examples from my life in the past week...

I have a friend who's been coming to church with me.  He hadn't stepped foot in the doors of a sanctuary for two years. In fact, he refused to for the longest time.  Then, he decided I was "safe" to go with.  Now, he's excited every Sunday to go.  Last Sunday, he raised his hand for salvation and pretty much every alter call they made that night.  That was the LAST thing I thought was going to happen last Sunday night.  Let's just say my friends amazing, and my friend lives a lifestyle I never though would cause him to hunger for God more.  I don't know what to expect in the future, but I know I've been praying for this friend for 6 months.

I have another friend I've been praying for...it's probably been a good 8 months now.  Today, she's making a big, brave decision.  I'm going to help her right now.  IT'S TIME!  And I'm so excited, because  each prayer sown by myself and so many others has lead up to this.  The thing is, this moment of harvest is only going to branch out to plant seed so many other areas, because I KNOW she is called to be a seed planter, but this is her first step.

Tonight, I'm having a conversation with another friend.  It could change the course  ing?of her life and possibly the life of another.  It remains to be seen.  But it's been a long time coming - probably close to a year of prayers.  Whatever happens, it's yet another time to go into the field of prayers and allow God to do the work.

Finally, in a little over the week, I'm meeting with someone.  I've been praying about this for 6 month...possibly much longer than 6 months.  Those prayers are about to reach the moment of seeing the result, whatever it may be.

This is why I say, it is the season of harvest.  And it's not just me.  Look around you, where is God moving?  What do you see about to change or changing that hasn't budged in so long?  If you see nothing, look about you!  Someone is ready.  Something is growing.  Somewhere there's a field God wants you to go into and be ready to do as He says.  I don't just say this, I KNOW it!  I know this season is one for the Christians to live in the moment.
Today.
Not the past miracles God's done.
Not the future promises He's told us.
Today...
there's a friend waiting to come home to Jesus,
there's a friend ready to step into her destiny,
there's a prayer waiting to no longer be just a prayer, but to turn into an answer.

"The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send workers into His field."  Matthew 9:37-8

Don't be just the asker, be the ANSWER!

Coffee Times, Episode II

Every day, I feel like my mind is getting blown with lessons from God.
I don't even know what to write about half the time, because there are so many things He, as well as others, have been teaching me or bringing to my attention.  I do know that God is growing me, and in the course of that, things are thrown at me right and left.  Illness, time-wasters, crazy people, crazy occurrences, mean people - and yet, there's Jesus always there.  And it always comes back to Him.  I want Him more than anything.  That's what these Coffee Times are all about.  Everything goes back to Him - any question you ask or fear you have, I HAVE THE ANSWER TO:
          "Jesus."

                  "Jesus."
                          "Jesus."

If it's all about Him, there are a few practical things He's been showing me that humanity tends to keep a tight hold of.  We hang onto ideas or aspects of life that He wants to control or use.  Today, in this episode, I'm just going to speak of two lessons which God's been teaching me.

PERFECTION IS OVERRATED
As I mentioned in my first Coffee Times, I'm reading through Genesis.  This time, something which keeps sticking out to me is how God's people were constantly messing up!  If He were human, He probably would be bald!  haha!  Because He would have pull out all his hair by now.  I've got a short little list:  Lot's wife disobeyed and became salt,  men slept with their maidservants, daughters slept with their father - AH; there were jealousies, murders, deception, lies, unbelief, affairs, favoritism.  Yup!  You name it, it's there.  And yet, many of the people involved are used as examples.  If God can love them, how much more does He see us as precious who are washed and purified by the blood of JESUS!  In the book of Genesis, the law was the standard of holiness...and each of the influential people broke it in one way or the other.  Still, God had grace even then, for He declares,

"If my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn form their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and I will forgive their sin and heal their land" (2 Chronicles 7:14).  

And for us, we have even an extra measure of grace, for JESUS covers over a multitude of sin...it is already FORGIVEN through His sacrifice.  However, the thing I want to point out is that even before Jesus' perfect sacrifice, serving God was not about perfection.
     We can't be humble and pliant when we are trying to be perfect.  Perfection keeps us holding onto pride - thinking we can do it on our own.  How much better is it to GO TO GOD instead and let Him shape us, lead us, guide us?  Pray and seek Him instead of chasing perfection!  After all, being perfected is a lifelong process, for through trials and persevering we grow to "not lack anything."  We, in fact, gain wisdom when we go to God first, and He gives "without finding fault."  Our only prerequisite to gaining wisdom and purification is to not doubt our Jesus...and that kind of faith takes humility because we must acknowledge HE is GREATER than any limitations, even our own limiting imperfections. (James 1:2-8)  Perfection is overrated and leaves us stressed and ineffective.  Being perfected by God is the only way!
      We have failed.  We will fail.  Adam and Eve - who walked with God, David - who was a man after God's heart, Peter - who was loved by God, Paul - who was the founder of the modern church...they all failed...they were imperfect.  And yet God used them anyways.  He chose them and perfected them through His grace alone!

WORDS ARE FREE - YET BEYOND VALUE
We use thousands of words everyday, and receive the same.  Especially in my job as a waitress.  Words are the greatest exchange going on between people on a daily basis, and they're free...yet extremely valuable.  Words have power!  For, "the tongue has the power of life and death" (Proverbs 18:21).  They may be one of our most powerful possessions, yet we don't always use our words wisely.  At least I don't.

    Kind words and actions cost us nothing, but they reap us a profit of contentment and give invaluable joy to others.  So, if words are free, and yet they are one of our most powerful (therefore valuable) possessions, we should be using them for good everyday.  I've been working not only on what I say, but HOW I say it.  Why not build someone up if I can?  I can be so selfish with this power of language...sometimes in the name of "protecting myself," I would not speak what would benefit another.  I don't want to be that way; instead, I want to give freely the power that's been given to me, because it will bring LIFE to another.  How awesome is that!  
   For me, the thing which started this whole realization of the power of words was when I started learning Sign Language. I have encountered a lot of deaf individuals and I've noticed that my ability to share only a few word-signs with them means the world.  It caused me to understand that I can share even more words with others around me who speak!  Many people aren't used to receiving LIFE from the words of another.  Just as those who are deaf have a limited exchange with people, it seems the exchange of meaningful words in our society are also limited. And for no good reason, either!  It's a self-imposed limitation.  I want to be one of the few who uses my words for good.  After all, God has freely given me the power to speak, and I don't want it's value to go to waste!

THE COFFEE HAS RUN OUT
For now, my coffee time is up.  But, the lessons have only just begun.  The more I allow Jesus to be perfect within me, instead of me being perfect for Jesus, the more I'll speak and act like Him.  You see, it all goes back to "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus."  The more we know Him and the more we surrender to Him, the more we will see things, such as our words, in our lives being maximized.  Your potential is as great as His potency inside of you!  You don't have to reach it by being perfect, just as you don't have to be responsible for the power of your words alone, you maximize your potential and life by making JESUS the answer for everything!
Make this your mantra today:
      People snap at you - "Jesus."
                        You get sick - "Jesus."
                                 You are tempted - "Jesus."
                                          The enemy comes at your thoughts - "JESUS!!!!"

Holding on to Him means humbly surrendering - perfectionism and words included!