Part I: The Thing About Beauty

We have a beauty obsession!
Our world lives daily, hourly, minutely, even secondly seeking to view, possess, absorb, or contain beauty. Whether you realize it or not, you are too; it’s a need inborn within us. That’s the thing about beauty, we need it!  

We were made with a desire to display beauty, if you’re a woman; or, as a man, to desire to be connected to beauty (in my second blog of this series, I’ll talk more about beauty in relation to males and females).  However, as human beings, we are all born to long to be in the presence of beauty, and even to be a part of it.  Some people are on a constant search to absorb this elusive thing called beauty – most the time not even knowing that’s what they’re seeking – but can never quite find it, so they either throw themselves into unhealthy behaviors or simply numb-out.  But others find it!  Oh for those who find beauty!  They are never the same!  They are content, for they find what they’re seeking everywhere, everyday!

I can hear the cry of so much longing.

With actions, the world is asking, “Where is beauty?” and even, “What is beauty?”  I have an answer, and it may surprise you.  First, at the very base definition, this is beauty according to Webster’s:

  “The quality(s) in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit; a beautiful person or thing, especially a woman; brilliant, extreme.”

Even according to the dictionary, beauty is not just a “thing” that exists, but it affects us in our senses, our minds and our spirits.  It causes our spirits to exalt even.  So the answer to “what is beauty” involves the fact that it’s a quality that actually impacts our physical senses as well as us spiritually.  To the question, “Where is beauty?,” then, here is the answer: God is beauty.  He is the one who created beauty, and formed us to desire and long for beauty, because we really long for His presence; and when we absorb His presence, we begin seeing the beauty we so long and desire for all around us in His creation, since He put reflections of Himself within the work of His hands. 

The beauty our world needs and desires is all around, but unless they’re connected to the Source, the world constantly feel that disconnect from what they know must be there.  Until they learn to be a part of the One who created the beauty, the desire will never be relieved, for the echo is all around calling like sirens to somehow join such splendor.    

So, it starts with Him.  Psalm 50:2 says that God is “perfect in beauty”; and in Psalm 27:4 the psalmist longs “to gaze on the beauty of the Lord,” even “the beauty of His face.”  I never gave deep thought to the connection between longing, beauty, and God, until a few days ago.  Listening to my i-Tunes that day, songs speaking of this aspect of God kept playing: “You’re beautiful, beautiful…”; “I just want to dwell on who you are/beautiful/beautiful/I’m lost of more to say/you’re beautiful to me”; “Beautiful One I love/Beautiful One I adore.”  I repeat again, God is beauty.  Apart from Him, we never fully experience or even fully SEE beauty with clear vision.  When we spend time in His presence, just talking with Him or listening, it is as if we can feel the wonderful warmth and beauty of His smile before us.  That warm feeling, that full content feeling, that feeling that all is right and that exaltation of every part of our being – that’s experiencing beauty. 

As I said before, from there we experience the beauty everywhere, for “He [God] has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).  Nature becomes beautiful:  the Bible talks about trees and cities, as well as the land, as reflecting beauty.  When you watch a sunset, or walk through green forest-land, there’s a glorious emanation that seems to speak forth from the sights – and for anyone who’s really looked with clear eyes upon this, you know that this emanation goes straight within and causes your inner self to sing as well!  The sad thing about beauty that is if we don’t have the beauty of God inside of us, this song from such glory has no harmony within our soul.  It’s as if we gaze at the sunset, and we want to consume and let it be a part of us, but it goes straight through us.  Ah, to know the beauty of God is to know the song of beauty and to sing along in perfect tune!

And, when learning the tune of beauty, suddenly we begin acting in a beautiful way, for beauty can work itself into action!  Romans 10:15 says, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news.”  Now, we all know that feet are NOT a beautiful thing, but the action of someone walking towards another and extending the love of Christ to them is.  Another instance of action becoming beautiful occurs when a former prostitute came to Jesus during Passover and washed his feet with her tears and perfume – wiping them with her hair.  Jesus declares, “Why are you bothering her,” at the disciples rebuke her  for her action, “She has done a beautiful thing to me.”  When we get God within us, and absorb the beauty of His presence, suddenly we begin displaying beauty in all we do and with our words! 

Yes, the thing about beauty is that it’s not just a thing:  it’s a presence, it’s a song we’re meant to get within us, and then preform the notes outwardly with our actions.  Not only were we created to take in beauty and see and experience it clearly, but to bring this glory to the world! 

Of course, until we actually can fulfill that longing to GAZE, literally, upon the beauty of God’s face in heaven, we’re always going to have some slight need within us.  BUT, for now, our need can find more than enough satisfaction in the presence of the Creator, the Sculptor, the Artist of all things glorious and beautiful!

To You, my God, I join the song:

“I just want to dwell on who you are/beautiful/beautiful/I’m lost of more to say/you’re beautiful to me”

© Krinda Joy, August 2011

GENDER BATTLE: The Cry to War FOR, not against, the Other!

THE BATTLE OF THE QUESTION

"Where have all the men gone?"

I hear this question a lot;  and, I'll admit, I've asked it myself a few times.  Okay, more than a few times! But, another question I think we should be asking is, "Where has femininity gone?"  Not, "Where have all the women gone?" because, oh, are there ever "women" abounding.  You cannot go anywhere without women displaying themselves in front of your eyes:  magazine covers, billboards, television commercials, and even while walking along the street you'll see a-whole-lotta women - too much in fact.  Not that there are too many women, but what I mean is you see too much OF them, their body and their skin and brazen attitude overshadows the fact that beneath it all there is a heart and mind.  Which is why I ask, "Where has femininity gone?"  Answering the cry for femininity links to answering the question of "Where have all the men gone?"  So, this blog is for men and women - for, we are both responsible to God and to each other to be accountable for our own gender-roles, and to be supportive of our counter-part's role.

SEXY vs. FEMININE - BEING A TRUE LADY

First, to the ladies:  ladies, if we want a man, we must be more than just a "woman," we must be feminine!  It's obvious we're women, but it seems in our world today that we must prove this by being sexy and gathering attention through our bodies.  And, we're taught to perfect the art of flirtation and subduction.  The more attention we get, the more drooling guys we have following after us, the more "woman" we are.  Often, we inadvertently gain this perspective because the women we see on the magazines tell us to be like HER - the suggestive look, the cleavage wearing/mid-drift showing, independent woman who is free and confident, right?  She can get any man she wants, right?  I'm here to say, no.  No, that's not what being a woman is all about; no that's not what it means to be confident and free; and no, that won't get the man you really want.  If we want a man, a true warrior, then we must not display our woman-hood with our bodies and seduction, but through femininity.  This word has become archaic in our society, and I want to excavate it and begin bringing it back to life.  So, let me explain what being feminine involves; first, let's look at Genesis.  Genesis speaks of woman as being a "helper" to man; and she was also the final crescendo in the creation process.  This means, we were formed to support men, to help them in becoming all they can be, not to try and control them and conquer them with our "charms."  We also are to display and bring the final touch of beauty to all of creation, hence our society (isn't that what Eve did).  Not beauty as the world defines it, which encourages lust, but a beauty that inspires valor and integrity from those around us.  How can we expect respect from men when we aren't carrying ourselves with respect?  If we can't set boundaries and coverings with our own bodies, can we really expect that they cover us and protect boundaries?  No, the beauty we were created to shed in this world is God's beauty.  These are the characteristics of beauty God displays that are to shine from within us, and be cast to the world around us:  His gentleness, displayed in the the soft colors of the evening; His sacrifice and heart of giving, which is shown in nature by the ways female wildlife will give their lives for their young; His compassion, shown by Jesus Himself when He ministered to children, prostitutes, and broken people; His sweetness, reflective in countless ways from honey, to the scent of flowers, to the presence of His Spirit we declare sweet, to the juice of a pineapple, to the taste of mountain stream water, to...well, you get the point, God is beautiful in His sweetness!  Gentleness, sacrifice, giving, compassion, and sweetness are all things that define a feminine heart and capture God's beauty within us.  Yes, we still need to take care of ourselves, after all, we are God's "temple" and so we must respect our bodies.  With self-care and the characteristics of beauty paired together, we display true femininity;  a femininity that INSPIRES man to be all HE was created to be.  Before I move on, I have one final thing to say, you may be reading this, my fellow lady, and cringing.  You may be thinking - smock wearing, push-over, mild little church-mouse is what being "feminine" means.  Heck no!  Being gentle, sacrificial, giving, compassionate, and sweet does not mean you become quiet, diminutive, and fashion-less.  I am a far cry from that - I wear bright colors and high heels, state my opinion when needed, and am passionate about life.  It takes great strength and assertiveness to be truly feminine because often you must stand alone, have a heart that is willing to expand and hurt for others, and have confidence and boldness to declare/defend what's right and true!  Churchmouse?!?  No.  Lion-ness?  YES!  Fierce sacrifice and giving paired with gentle care for the vulnerable mark a female lion, thus mark your feminine heart - so erase the thought that feminine means doormat, and instead realize again that God created femininity as a necessity to help bring completion to creation's beauty and inspire justice in this world.

TO MEN:  WHAT FEMININITY CRIES FOR 

Alright!  For the men still reading, if you skipped over the above address to females, I think it's important that you read it.  Understanding that there are some ladies who desire to go against the tide of selfish-womanhood may encourage you to continue striving to be the man your heart longs to be.  Now, I know I'm just a girl and I don't know what it means to be a man, but I do know a few things.  I know that the way the world displays women, and the way women display themselves, has done a disservice to you.  For this, I am sorry.  We've created an environment where it's HARD to be a real man.  Not only do we make it difficult for you to live in purity, but often your efforts have been devalued when you try and rise up; the times you've tried to open the door, let a lady go first in line, offered to help, extended a genuine compliment and you're efforts have been denied have all built up to scream out, "Don't try," and "that's not what women really want."  All of those magazines, movies, etc suggest that women want something different; they say, "I am woman, I want to be conquered."  They also say, "I don't need you," "I am an object for you to stare at and drool over," and "I like to flirt and play, with no real commitment, because I'm free-woman."  But, that is a lie, for true femininity asks that you support and protect her.  True femininity pleads that you stand up and be a MAN and a WARRIOR.  With all these mixed messages, I can understand why men wonder, "What on earth do women want?" and women ask, "Where have all the men gone."  Because we're both not supporting eachother.  Before I speak from my hear to you, men, I think we need to revisit all that a woman is not supposed to be or made to be, in order to see what a real lady is and what she wants...

FEMININITY'S CRY TO THE WARRIORS

I am not...

a piece of meat,

a challenge to defeat;

another pin-up on your wall

or girl on call.

I am not...

just a pretty face,

one more body covered in frill and lace;

a girl in the crowd

you can heckle out loud.

I am not...

an image to be oogled

or a prospect to be googled;

nor a simple ego-booster

admiring as you strut around like a rooster.

Finally, I am not... 

a materialist easily bought,

an object quickly caught,

a body with no brain 

who plays some game for my own gain.

But, I AM...

an intelligent conversation

who has a heart for this nation;

a listening ear 

with empathy's tear.

I AM...

a lady,

formed by the loving God who made-me;

a bearer of grace

with the goal to show Jesus' radiant face.

I AM...

a work of art

to be admired with respect to start;

a combination of body, mind and heart,

made to be sweet by the Spirit, not bitter-tart.

I AM...

wanting to bring true beauty to this earth,

striving to inspire new life to birth,

asking men to stand for me when I face defenselessness,

pleading they see me as a princess,

begging men to believe all that I am not

and see all that I AM is to be protected and sought.

I AM every woman who stand for femininity in this world,

crying for men to let their warrior-heart be unfurled. 

                                                              © Krinda Joy, July 30,2011

If you are a man, and you are reading this, this is what real femininity pleas for, and cries out for in tears on her pillow at night.  Deep down, you know God created you as an overseer of creation, like Adam, and to stand for justice, love, and right in this world.  He gave you woman as a gift, and gifts are to be cherished.  She was a gift to complete your life and to help you to achieve your mission on this earth.  So, let her in!  Let her be a part of your heart, let her help teach you to learn to love more gently, and let her inspire you to be the warrior of your childhood longings.  Stop hiding in the safety of isolation, and let her touch the place within that asks for feminine encouragement, approval, and nurturing.  I know it takes vulnerability, and it's easier to keep a woman out of your heart, but when you shut-out and shut-down and get "rough," it's like telling her she has nothing to offer and no beauty she can impart (think of those times I talked about earlier when you tried to be chivalrous and it was shoved in your face - same  concept).  Don't tell her to "be tough," or discourage her from loving you; for if you protect a woman's femininity, she will respect and encourage your masculinity.  Now, I understand, women have abused so many men who have opened up to them.  Once again, I'm sorry, but please don't shut down from being a man.  Please hear the request of the feminine heart that asks that you see her as a princess, to listen to her, and to be the one who will believe in her and fight for her.  Be willing to go to battle for injustices in this world, and to be a little wild in the risks you're willing to take - like Jesus, who overturned the temple tables, went into the wilderness for 40 days to pray for His purpose in this world, defied religion, and walked on the water in the MIDST of the storm!  Yet, Christ listened to the cry of the bleeding woman, defended the adulterer, and honored the former prostitute, all who came to Him for His covering.  He protected them in their defenselessness and vulnerability.  He was a man of intense fight AND an open heart; that's what true femininity looks for and is calling for in men.

TURNING THE QUESTION ON YOURSELF

Now, in closing, I have to address that single men and women must approach with a bit more caution.  For example, a single women has to be careful with how she lets her "nurturing" heart out around men, and a single man cannot "fully open" to a woman.  However, we can support and encourage each other to be truly feminine and truly masculine.  Women can honor men by how they present themselves, and men can protect women by defending her and looking at her as a beautiful creation of God.  We must stop bickering about each-other, and instead:  (1. Seek to represent our gender as God created us to be, and (2. Choose to see and support the other gender as God created them to be.  

Turn the question of the apparent lack of manhood/womanhood on yourself: ask instead, "Am I being all that I AM supposed to be?"  

Living Colors of Compassion

My heart beats hard, my eyes water, my fists clutch to my chest, my mouth utters a prayer, "AH! God..."

This is not pain.  It's something different.  It explodes inside me.

     This is compassion.

                 And, I don't know what to do with it.

                          But I know I MUST do SOMETHING or my insides will rip apart.

LIVING COMPASSION

Actually, my insides are more likely to become emulsified than to rip apart.  When we ignore the call of compassion, of sacrifice, of loving and giving to others over "self," something dies within us.  It's like coral - coral is a beautiful, colorful living species in the sea, the moves freely and gracefully with the ebb and flow of the tide.  BUT, when it is cut off from the life source, it hardens and dries out.  It cannot move, and it no longer is vibrant and alive.  Our heart, like the coral, must continually move with the flow of the Holy Spirit and stay connected to compassion, or we become hard and dried out with all the life and vibrance sucked out from us.  After all, our heart is supposed to be JESUS' heart for others, so when we ignore this beat - this implosion within to love and give to others - we ultimately ignore Jesus.  The book I'm reading right now paints a picture of what compassion in action can do in our lives:  it says that our lives  will "blaze" with evidence of Jesus all over our lives - yes, blaze with those vibrant colors alive and moving within our hears.   

"When we look out beyond ourselves, when our love for others pushes us beyond the comfortable, when we place our treasure in rebuilding lives, it is then that we find ourselves living among the clearest signs that God is at work in our lives...the evidence of love in action will be blazed all over our lives, transforming our neighborhoods and breathing hope into the atmosphere."                                           The Love Revolution, Meyer.

DO SOMETHING

We might know this, we might agree with this, but as I am, we may all be simply clutching our fists to our heart, fighting the tears of compassion expanding but without knowing WHAT THE HECK WE CAN DO to stop hunger, abuse, prostitution, slavery, poverty.  

Like most, I don't really know what I can do to stop the injustices and pains of this world:

       BUT I'VE ABSOLVED TO DO SOMETHING....

Something is better than nothing, and it will keep me rooted-alive in the ocean all around us that seeks to uproot us and pull us away from the Source of Life.  

COMPASSION IN ACTION

Here's where it gets practical.  If we pick just one of these actions to do a week, we begin to see our lives explode with so much color that it begins to reflect upon those around us.  Maybe these activities seem small, but better to let compassion works it's course, then to let it petrify our hearts by it's constant barrage of tears within, just longing to extend outwards to others.  

• Give food to a homeless individual, or simply stay and talk with him or her for awhile; let them tell their story, it will make them feel human again.
• Pick a charity that makes your heart beat a little faster and give just $20 to $50 dollars.  Even $10.  We all can skip going to the movies that month, and spend the $10 on feeding a child, stopping prostitution, or helping SI (self-injury) victims.
• Make TIME for someone hurting and lonely.  Listen, follow up, and really TRULY care.  Don't try to solve all their "problems," care and listen first.
• Play with a child!  I know this does not seem like compassion, but staying sensitive to little children keeps our hearts soft - after all, Jesus himself demonstrated this, "Let the little children come unto me."
• Volunteer - soup kitchens, Special Olympics, community centers...most run off of people responding to the call of compassion and volunteering.
• Mentor a youth.  With the divorce rate over 50%, you'll find most youth today are from homes that are broken, and they are also broken inside.  They need role models and people to LOVE them unconditionally.
• Talk about it!  Blog, write, speak to another about having compassion for others.  Stir it up within those around you.  Even if they've become like the hardened coral already, there is a little bit of life just longing to be stirred back up within most everyone.
• Cook for an elderly neighbor or offer to mow their lawn or help with whatever he or she needs.
• Donate to canned food drives, etc.  There's always something going on in your area to raise supplies or food.  
• Check out these websites:  http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/OCC/index/  (this is a link to Operation Christmas Child, which is one of the many things they do and something I enjoy every year since you can give a gift rather than just money); http://www.metroministries.org/index.php (donations go to helping inner-city children with school supplies, food, and keeping them off the street, teaching them to live for Jesus instead.  I know someone who knows the founder personally, and can verify that every penny will go to rescuing the children from lives of prostitution, violence, and gangs); http://www.ceitci.org/about/changing-a-generation (I use to work for Ceitci personally, and with her organization spanning from Bulgaria, Ghana, and Uganda, she helps with Child prostitution, the Child-soldiers of Uganda, building wells in Africa, providing for the outcast young ones in Bulgaria)

The list goes on; the acts of compassion go as far as your imagination can take them.  The key is, to follow your passions.  What are you passionate about?  Use that to give to others!  Maybe you're passionate about music, so play at nursing homes.  Like me, you could be passionate about writing, so write about this and write for the hurting (that's what I'm doing with my book); don't just write, DO SOMETHING though.  If you're passionate about children, tutor them or join Big-Brother, Big-Sister.  The point is, God put a passion in your heart to work out in compassion for others!

BEING THE BARRIER TOGETHER

If we all allow our hearts to become vibrant and alive in compassion as a church, imagine what would happen!  In sticking with the coral metaphor, think of the Great Barrier Reef.  Alone, coral does not make much of a change, but interlaced together like this Reef, it changes the entire environment of the massive ocean around it.  Not only does it create a barrier from the overpowering waves and alter the tides, but it is a harbor and safe place for all the creatures of the sea.  AND, it takes your breath away!  The American church operating in compassion together can change the tides of the sea which is moving towards selfishness.  It can hold back or repair the damage of the waves to so many lives.  It can be a safe haven for those who need a place to belong.  And, when we become this, we WILL take the breath of the world away, for it will allow God's beauty to be displayed in, through and around us!  We were meant to be a living, moving, colorful community that stops others in their tracks and causes them to ask, "How can I be a part of THAT?"  

SO, START BY JUST DOING SOMETHING!  

Hoping Afraid

Hope or Fear?
Fear or Hope?

I have a choice, but the choice isn't as easy as it seems.  The decision doesn't just come down to choosing to have fear, or choosing to have hope, but the fear is wrapped up in choosing hope.

What if I'm disappointed?
What if I get my hopes up, I begin to care again, only to have them dashed?
What if I'm hoping for the impossible?

So I fear hope, because although it's a beautiful thing, it can HURT!  My mind shouts at me, "RUN before you care, RUN before it gets hard, RUN before you get disappointed.  But I don't have a reason to run other than fear..."

You see, yesterday, I decided to choose hope in the face of fear once more.  I'm still desperately afraid!  And yet, I'm no longer living by fear, because with this choice I choose to hope in spite of the fear; I choose not to live numb or broken in order to avoid disappointment.  God has given me so many dreams and visions for the future, and a two months ago I was living in this spot of just...existing.  I was not seeing how any of the dreams or visions would come to past, or evidence of them, so I just shut down.  Tired of always hoping and feeling that disappointment.  But, living pushing aside hope, living giving into fears of not reaching what you hope for, that is no life at all.  The scriptures say "hope deferred makes the heart sick" (Proverbs 13:12).   I can attest to that, for when I push aside hoping, my spirit feels weak and frail.  That zest that normally accompanies my every  move is zapped.  But living by hope, and refusing to give into the evidence of what's seen, brings LIFE back and I'm able to fully LOVE again.

Two months ago, I was living with a crazy fear of trying to finish my book.  I kept hearing the fear speaking to me, "What if you can't do it? what if you don't have enough inside of you to make it complete?  What if it's no good?"  Yet, HOPE was saying, "What if you DO have it inside?  What if it's just waiting to come out?"  And so, I wrote anyway.  Every time I sat down at the keyboard, I was afraid!  Well, I finished my book!  Turns out, fear lied.  And it's lying again, because now it's saying, "What if you can't edit your book into a presentable project?  What if no one wants to read it?  What if you never get published?"  Fear also keeps telling me I will never be married or have a family; that I will always do everything alone and no one will choose me.  Fear tells me, "You have no friends.  No one really cares!  What's the use of opening up to them."  So, everything that's inside of me wants to RUN, as I said before, shut down, shut out.

AND YET....I know from before, I have to hope afraid.  I have to choose to write anyways, to love anyways, to open up and let others in anyways.  Because regardless of what happens, hoping is a form of trust in God.  It tells Him, I believe you love me, and I'll lean on that love.  In regards to fear, Jesus says, "Do not be afraid, I am here" (John 6:19-20) "Don't be afraid; just believe" (Mark 5:36), and "there is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear..." (1 John 4:18).  I've always loved that last verse, and God gave me a revelation about it just this morning.  The "I AM" (i.e. Jesus) is love, and we are not to be afraid because I AM is here.  When Jesus says, I AM, it means He is the first and the last, the beginning and the end.  So His love and touch extends from the beginning of our life until the end.  We have no need to fear, but only to hope, for we can trust that He who LOVES us has our future taken care of as well as our past.  He knows, and that's what matters.

Fear would have us forget this.  Fear would have us disregard the reality that GOD LOVES US and HAS A PLAN FOR US.  Fear would have us run.  Pastor Ivan Tait points out, "check yourself:  the thing you're afraid of may be the very thing that's your destiny."

My destiny is in writing; my heart was made to love; my life was created to GIVE...and these are all things I do afraid because I must choose HOPE!  Hope in the fact that God loves me and will work all things out for good, as He promises, makes me write each word and check my heart before Him everyday.

Today, check your heart!  What are you afraid of doing?  If you feel God pushing you towards it, don't run!  Embrace it, do it afraid!  Join me each morning in choosing to refuse the stagnation and lethargy of deferred hope and decide to live the DANGEROUS life of hoping instead!

Yes, hope is dangerous...not hoping is fatal - it's DEATH for our heart and soul!

You may be afraid of hoping, but, instead, choose to live hoping while afraid!  Eventually, the fear dissipates in the reality that Jesus' love goes before, behind, and around us;  we are set free to let our hope soar with the reality that He brings "good" out of all things entrusted to Him...even when it seems impossible.

Elopement of the Morning

Mornings are precious!  They promise a brand new day with fresh start and hope for what may come.  Jesus is teaching me to let my times with Him be the same.  To let Him take me away and resurrect my hope, to restore my heart, and renew my ability to love again.  He wants to pierce through every dark place within us and bring LIFE.  He wants to sweep us away so that we join Him in a dance, where we must trust and follow.  But, like any dance, it's full of excitement and movement which causes the heart to sing!

The One who loves you more than anyone or anything else is calling you away;  He's calling you to a place where He can bring fresh life and a new dawn upon your dreams and heart.  YOU ARE HIS...will you allow Him to be YOURS, your all-and-all, your first love?

ELOPEMENT OF THE MORNING, Poem

 Morning bright –

dreams in sight,

as I awake in light,

golden piercing the night.

In the dawning of hope,

Love of my soul and I elope.

Running away to a quiet place,

away from this world’s-race,

into our meeting space –

 in this meadow we sit face to face.

Beside us, a stream trickles,

the daisies and grass underneath tickle.

We watch our sanctuary come to life,

this hope slicing my loneliness like a knife.

Even in our silence my Beloved speaks to me

to renew dreams and visions of all that is to be.

In the light of the Son, He reaches down,

pulls me up off the ground,

and whisks me through the fields –

twirling me around and around He wheels.

In this dance,

swept in the arms of this Romance,

the brokenness healed;

dreams unconcealed;

life brought back to the heart

to beat a love that felt would never again start.

In our meadow

I let go…

My Love sweeps me back

to my room where, finishing, is my worship track.

But I can’t stop dancing every day,

for He spun my doubt away.

I am alone never,

for my Love beckons forever,

in each dawn’s emerging,

to enter the meadow, our dances again converging.

© by: Krinda Joy, July 24^th, 2011

                   “My beloved is mine, and I am His.” Song of Songs 2:16

Written in the Sands

I watch the ocean waves crash upon the sand.

                     I feel the granules shift between my toes.

                               I run a handful of the white, powdery sands through my fingers...

just trying to imagine with each one thoughts of love from above,

"You are precious."

"I died for you."

"You are worth it."

"I have great plans for you."

"I call you daughter, and Princess."

"You have a purpose."

After my handful returns to the mass of particles on the beach, I look around in awe.  Spread before me is an example of how much God thinks of me, how much He loves me - and the amount is unfathomable, unimaginable, innumerable!  Psalms :17-18 says,

"How precious [towards] me are your thoughts, O God!  How vast the sum of them!  Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand." 

I see why the psalmist here has to use TWO exclamation marks.  This to me is one of the most profound statements of God's care for us in the Bible.  Think about it - if each grain of sand represents a thought God has about us, then that means He thinks of us each moment of infinity, because we cannot even count a handful of sand!  We know this right?   But I have to ask, do we really know??? We know He died for us, we know He loves us...but do we really know that He is consumed - passionately and unabashedly - with a love and attention to us.  HE DESIRES US.  Every moment of every day He thinks about us; He eagerly waits for the time when we finally spend time with Him.  In these times when we can finally begin hearing His whispering of those thoughts of love, "You are precious. You are worth it. I died for you.  I have great plans for you..."

Yet, I think so often I focus on the waves crashing upon these sands of love instead.   I look at the power that the waters, representing hardships, holds to wash away the sands.  I have this visual that God's love is written in one part of the mass, and when the ocean washes over the love, that it sweeps away God's care.  And, I can no longer feel Him speaking His thoughts to me;  I feel as if He's gone silent.  As if perhaps He isn't thinking of me.  I hear the roar of the ocean instead of the whispers coming from the granules. And I watch the waves pound over and over again, overtaking all feelings of security in God's love for me, and doubt settles in.  But then, I hear God telling me, "Krinda, Look at the sands!" 

I look....  

and all I see is that the writing of LOVE has been erased by the ocean of turmoil and mistakes. 
But God says again, "Krinda, LOOK AT THE SANDS." 
So, I pick up that handful again, I look at the sands there, and I hear God urging, "Look!  On each grain I've written my love!" 

No matter what, this life cannot take away God's love because when hardships seem to sweep away the thoughts God has for us, it's really an illusion.  The waves seem so powerful, yet they can never demolish the sands...they can never flood away God's love because regardless of the push and pull of the ocean, the sands still remain with the writing of God's love upon each granule. 

 "...the seas have lifted up their pounding waves. Mightier than the thunder of the great waters,      mightier than the breakers of the sea - the Lord on high is mighty."  Psalm 93:3,4

No matter how mighty your struggle seems to be; no matter how powerful your temptation or sin may appear, GOD IS GREATER!  Even when the words of God's love feel wiped away by the surge of pain, know that this reality remains - God's love can never, ever, ever be overpowered! Satan will try and pound out this love and make it disappear by forcing it under the water, pushing aside, or flinging it about, , but no matter what he does, God's love continues to be endless, infinite, innumerable.  For, even these seas must surrender to the mightiness and vastness of God eventually (Psalm 89:9), and nothing, I repeat nothing, can separate us from Him because even in the midst of the pounding waves what is underneath us, and swirling all around us is...SAND (i.e. LOVE).  We cannot escape it.  We cannot be separated it.  It rest under, along, and between the oceans of this world....

                               God's amazing love for you is written in the mere existence of the sands.

Next time you go to the beach, run your hand through the grains beneath your feet.  Lay upon the sand and just image, you rest upon an infinity of loving thoughts from God above; you are cushioned by soft whispers....

"You are precious."

"I died for you."

"You are worth it."

"I have great plans for you."

"I call you daughter, and Princess."

"You have a purpose."

Thoughts at Random (but not so random) II...

Life just sucks sometimes, and that's the truth!  I live and work around so much pain.  At my work place, there are so many hurting people.  People who have lost loved ones.  People who are in abusive relationships.  People who are addicted to...whatever!  People who hate people because of what another person had done to them.  Then, I work with Jr. High and High School students once or twice a week.  And their stories are intense:  families where domestic violence is a daily reality, girls dating boys who are under house arrest, kids sleeping around at the age of 14, kids whose parents are kicking them out of the house, kids whose families can't afford an extra $10 for the movies.

In all this suckiness, though, life is beautiful.  In the last "Thoughts at Random," I spoke of the confusing realities of life regarding insecurities, relationships, and dreams; in this "Thoughts at Random II," I want to talk about the beauty of life.  The things we take for granted, but that make all the junk disappear for awhile when we actually SEE them with the eyes of wonder.  So, blank out the ugliness with  me for a moment.  Forget about all of the burdens, and let's journey to picture the small wonders of life.  (Note: actually PICTURE them in your mind, allow God to show them t o you a-new).

LIGHTENING:

Fireworks from heaven.  Each bolt is unique, each boom a little different.  The flash lights up the sky, sometimes green, sometimes purple, sometimes yellow, and sometimes white.  And the power is so strong, you can feel it!  Not only does the thunder from lightening reverberate so loud and long that you feel your heart rumble too at times, but there's a presence in the air.  There's a static excitement, as it any minute your hair might start dancing on invisible currents.  It's a show for all the senses.  A display of creative and powerful genius.  The voice of God is like this boom of thunder, behind you, backing you, defending you...His hand like the strike of lightening to any that come against His child.  And He shows you this reality through His very own fireworks show in the sky.

A SMILE:

We could have been formed like a nutcracker.  Like the wooden doll, our mouth could solely preform the function of "up-down-up-down" just to eat.  But instead, our mouth can go sideways.  Not just sideways, but downwards, upwards, outwards.  Our mouth/lips have the power to communicate how we're feeling without even uttering a word.  Oh, and did I mention that our mouth can pucker?  How weird would it be if we were formed like that nutcracker and tried to kiss all flat-lipped.  Not nearly as pleasant, I imagine.  Anyways, derailing!  Back to the smile.  What an amazing thing a smile is!  It has the power to effect change.  When you see a stranger sitting alone, and you give them a genuine smile, their countenance changes.  It's contagious and they smile back.  When you feel down, and you choose to smile, suddenly life becomes hopeful again.  And all it is is a sideways, upwards motion of the lips and cheeks.  A smile can change a day, make life better, and can even save a life.  

GREEN, GREEN GRASS:

There's something about an open field of green grass, or a meadow filled with wild-flowers and greenery that sparks the insides.  It makes you want to run, to jump, and to create.  It makes you want to play again.  It matters not your age.  When there's on open field before you, you suddenly desire to leap and skip across it, to lay in it, to take it all inside of you and somehow absorb the vitality that emanates from the greenery.  Green, green grass reminds you to LIVE again.  It reminds you that no matter how much you trample it, or rip it up, it will grow.  It asks you to not only take time to play in life, but also take time to lay down and breathe in the fresh scent of the oxygen the grass produces beneath you.  Next time you're in a meadow or field of green, green grass, pause and listen to it.  Not to get all "earthy" or "mother-nature," but what I mean is that it communicates the regenerative life of God.  God created greenery to take in the bad (CO2) and filter it, allowing good to produce from it (O2).  That's how we are to live our lives FULL and VIBRANT.  The bad life flings at us, we are to allow to be filtered, so that good will be what comes forth from it - a good that brings life to others.

BIRDS (not the horrible pigeons in Hawaii):

Think about it, they make music!  Animals who sing songs!  How awesome is that?  I take for granted the beautiful notes of the songbird that sings about the day, the sky, and the sun in the morning.  I usually don't LISTEN to the way the bird combines different notes to create an actual harmony.  The songbird doesn't just have one noise it makes, but is able to combined several different sounds for a distinct song of their own.  There's a scripture verse in Psalm that says, "sing a new song unto the Lord," and I wonder, like the bird, do each of us have a unique tune we are to sing to the Lord each morning we awake?  I think we do.  It doesn't have to be actual song, but our praise is a praise only we can make, and the birds remind us to sing it out every morning.

WORDS:

What if we communicated in grunts?  Or simply hand motions.  But we don't.  We have words!   They can mean so many things, and like puzzle pieces we can combined them to form a creation - a masterpiece of art. Even sign language is based off of words.  Words that powerful!  They have the power of life and death, according to the Bible.  We can cause someone to soar towards their dreams with words, or we can deflate someone.  We can re-create words, learn new words everyday, and we can we can communicate a million different things with one word.  Take love for example.  LOVE, one word, four letters, that can mean so many different things to so many different people.  I can love you like a brother, I can LOVE you passionately, I can love you sacrificially, I can love to write or I can love you unending.  What a wonder we were gifted with the ability to use words for such good in this world! What's even more of a wonder to me is that we don't use them for the good they COULD be used for!

I could say so much more about the ocean, mountains, streams, eyes, colors, but then this would be the blog that never ends.  My goal is that when life gets overwhelming in all of it's insanity, I look to the beauty of the little things all around me.  There is always something to appreciate, like right now.  I'm in Starbucks, and I can watch so many people connecting, I can see the blue sky outside the windows, and smell the AMAZING smell of coffee (come-ON you know it's amazing when you've had a super long week!).  Yes, life sucks sometimes, but even more so, life is BEAUTIFUL.